Looking for opinions about holding back preschooler

[LuvRM]

Hi all--I would like your opinions about holding back kids in preschool. Do you or did you have any children that you held back a year before you let him/her in kindergarten? My girlfriend and I were discussing this topic as she is holding back her son a year (I have a daughter.) Hearing how competitive school can be (even in kinder) it has me thinking...what are your opinions/experiences?

[BarbiE]

I have 2 sons. Not putting them in simply because they were turning 5 was one of the best decisions I've made. Some kids are ready at 5, that's no doubt, but some need the extra 6 months to a year to mature a bit. Especially the little boys -as many teachers will tell you. Every teacher I have spoken to about this has agreed wholeheartedly. Both of mine are about 8 months older then their classmates-there's no harm in that. IMO there is no disadvantage to waiting a year at all. If you are considering whether or not to put your daughter in at 5-speak with her preschool teacher-she should be able to give you some insight as to whether or not she's ready.

[Matthew]

I think it is a personal choice that has to be made between parents, teacher and the student, so it's tough to make an informed comment. I do feel that earlier is better. If a child were to be held back I believe it would be a much easier adjustment in preschool vs 3rd or 4th grade.

[BarbiE]

Originally Posted by Matthew

I think it is a personal choice that has to be made between parents, teacher and the student, so it's tough to make an informed comment. I do feel that earlier is better. If a child were to be held back I believe it would be a much easier adjustment in preschool vs 3rd or 4th grade.

I understand what you're saying Matthew, but years ago retaining a student was something that wasn't too unusual. Today-there's a lot of hoops that have to be jumped through first. I don't think it is as common as it was when I was growing up. And-by waiting to put them in to Kindergarten I believe you can avoid the need for retaining a child-down the road.

[Matthew]

Originally Posted by BME

I understand what you're saying Matthew, but years ago retaining a student was something that wasn't too unusual. Today-there's a lot of hoops that have to be jumped through first. I don't think it is as common as it was when I was growing up. And-by waiting to put them in to Kindergarten I believe you can avoid the need for retaining a child-down the road.

All the more reason to do it earlier than later. Why is it harder to hold a child back now?

[BarbiE]

Originally Posted by Matthew

All the more reason to do it earlier than later. Why is it harder to hold a child back now?

Honestly, I don't know. Could be budget issues I also think that schools will do all they can (helping a child) from their end to make sure that retention is a last resort-but again that means they may continue to struggle through. Why not give them the advantage from the start? My oldest went to preschool 3 mornings a week. When I spoke to his teacher about whether or not to put him into K in the fall-she explained that while sitting in their little circle working on ABCs and the like-my son's eyes were glued to the toy corner. I said-no problem, we'll wait until next fall. Giving him that extra time was an advantage. He matured a bit and retention was never a thought. He's now pre-med at OSU. The younger one-same thing-not quite ready-school was in the way of his social life. He has to work a little harder to get the grades. He also struggles some in Algebra-it would have been so much worse had I put him in earlier. it was a win-win situation all the way around.

[Mama Mia]

I kept the boys out of Kindergarten because I did not think they were mature enough at that time....I entered them in first grade...I used to teach them their numbers and alphabet at home as well as their address and phone number and all those important things...we read alot also with the kids. When they entered school, they were way ahead of many of the kids in the class, according to the teachers......I think it's a personal decision since we know our children better than anyone else....I think doing it early rather than later is better....JMHO

[BusyBee]

I struggled with the same thing with my younger son. My older son's birthday was after the cut off so he naturally started school at as an older 5 yr. old but was bored in kinder. My youngest son though, has his birthday a few months earlier, so we had to make that same decision to wait another year and start him at 6 or let him start kindergarten at as young 5 yr old. Because he had done preschool for 2 yrs and was getting bored we started him in kinder at 5, he is doing great academically but is still a bit immature. There are days that I wonder if starting him later have been better but other days I am glad I did since staying in preschool another year may not have forced him to mature anyways.

The pre-kinder program at CRES is great also to help you decide if your child is ready for kinder. The kinder teachers run it just like they do in kinder and you really see if your child is overly challenged at doing what they are asking them to do or if they fit in fine.

[nana]

BME has it pretty much right, especially with boys who are born say August-December. They are not as socially progressed as same age girls, in general. When my four were in school, Kindergarten was just that and not the mini first grade it is today.
I let my son start at 5, but he was a February baby with three older sisters so he survived well.
Starting your children late does not have the same stigma some may still adhere to re holding them back to repeat a grade. If your kids' preschool and elementary school teachers are good, they can speak to you from a lot of experience. Better to do it on the front end of their educational careers than to wait for a teacher to "suggest" little Johnny repeat first grade, IMHO.

[pingtheduck]

One of my hot topics..

I agree with nana and BME for all the reasons stated. My kiddo is in First and will be 7 in Nov and I'm very glad I waited for Kindergarten. He started little bits of Preschool when he was almost 3 and that was absolutely great. The CRES Kindergarten program is only 3 hours which seemed like a good "transition" to a regular school day until we got into it and there was so much seat time and so little recess time. Lots of my friend's kids did well with CRES but my kiddo, (even at almost 6) did much better in a full day K program that included lots of recess, art, PE, clay ... Plus, our Preschools out here are really good and that can add to the transition issue. Finally, STAR testing trickles down to K and that is too bad. The K standards of today are the First Grade standards of 5 years ago. Students are not "held back" the way they used to be for a whole essay of reasons so that doesn't need to factor into your decision making IMHO. But, your ultimate goal is to create an enthusiastic Life Long Learner.. take your time, there are a million enriching programs you can enroll your Preschooler in that will peak his/her interest and love of learning. Oh plus... My kiddo had a packet of 25 pages of homework at CRES K. No likey. Mom wasn't ready to sign on to the homework wars so early either. This year he's okay with it. And loves CRES First by the way..