New Rules of Golf

[chesbrojim]

These are some new rules designed to make the game more user friendly. They are attributable to the uncle of my golf partner.

Lou Anderson’s Official Rules of Golf

“The rules of golf for good players whose scores would reflect their true ability if only they got an even break once in a while”

A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled in the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball, and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the ball resulting from such uncontrollable mechanical phenomena.

A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, preferably from atop a nice firm tuft of grass.

There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course somewhere and eventually will be found and pocketed by someone else. It thus becomes a stolen ball, and the player should not compound the felony by charging himself with a penalty stroke.

In or near a bunker or sand trap, a ball rolling back toward the player may be hit again on the roll without counting an extra stroke. In any case, no more than two strokes are to be counted in playing from a bunker since it is reasonable to assume that if a player had time to concentrate on his shot, instead of hurrying it so as not to delay his playing partners, he would be out in two.

If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it must drop. The law of gravity supercedes the laws of golf. You cannot defy the law.

Same thing goes for a ball that rims the cup. A ball shall not go sideways in defiance of the laws of physics. A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as: “You could blow it in” may be blown in. This rule does not apply if the ball is more than 3 inches from the hole because no one wants to make a travesty of the game.

[ccamp]

i love those rules... when do they start?

[Maximus]

"If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it must drop. The law of gravity supercedes the laws of golf. You cannot defy the law.

Same thing goes for a ball that rims the cup. A ball shall not go sideways in defiance of the laws of physics. A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as: “You could blow it in” may be blown in. This rule does not apply if the ball is more than 3 inches from the hole because no one wants to make a travesty of the game."

I like these rules the best. Chesbrojim, you need to run for the RMCC board an make these local rules. You have my vote!

[Wilbur]

If these rules take hold I just may have to take up the game again. Seems like there would be a lot more smilin' and a lot less cussin' involved than last time around.

[Maximus]

Originally Posted by Wilbur

If these rules take hold I just may have to take up the game again. Seems like there would be a lot more smilin' and a lot less cussin' involved than last time around.

The only rule I didn't like is where the trees shouldn't stop the flight of the ball. Sometimes the trees stop my ball from going OB!

[Wilbur]

Let's add one more that the snakes have to spit it back onto the fairway.

[culdad]

Originally Posted by ccamp

i love those rules... when do they start?

they already did...i dont read anything new here...dont we all play by these rules

[hautemomma]

Originally Posted by chesbrojim

These are some new rules designed to make the game more user friendly. They are attributable to the uncle of my golf partner.

Lou Anderson’s Official Rules of Golf

“The rules of golf for good players whose scores would reflect their true ability if only they got an even break once in a while”

A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled in the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball, and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the ball resulting from such uncontrollable mechanical phenomena.

A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there, preferably from atop a nice firm tuft of grass.

There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course somewhere and eventually will be found and pocketed by someone else. It thus becomes a stolen ball, and the player should not compound the felony by charging himself with a penalty stroke.

In or near a bunker or sand trap, a ball rolling back toward the player may be hit again on the roll without counting an extra stroke. In any case, no more than two strokes are to be counted in playing from a bunker since it is reasonable to assume that if a player had time to concentrate on his shot, instead of hurrying it so as not to delay his playing partners, he would be out in two.

If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it must drop. The law of gravity supercedes the laws of golf. You cannot defy the law.

Same thing goes for a ball that rims the cup. A ball shall not go sideways in defiance of the laws of physics. A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as: “You could blow it in” may be blown in. This rule does not apply if the ball is more than 3 inches from the hole because no one wants to make a travesty of the game.

My husband will be floored to hear someone else has the same set of rules I do!

Here's an HM add-on-
'If one of god's creatures lands on any part of your body and results in an unsatisfactory drive, you can, without penalty, hit a second ball. You can't control such flying creatures (OR the sun, for that matter), so there will be no penalty. Any issues arising from this decision can be dealt with by speaking directly to the Maker, on the green, when you are praying for your putt to find its way to the hole'.